Hi people...
Hi people.
Its been a while since I last wrote here. Havent had any energy for it.
Were having a hard time, after we got our appartment painted Paul was sick for days. To much change. He was just sleeping, unable to talk to me or James. I felt extremly lonley and depressed. Felt sick when I went to bed and felt sick when I woke up, I didnt want to wake up, felt like I couldnt handle the situation at all.
One day I was so tired of everything and so pissed of that I just went into a hyper mode and fixed the whole appartment. I didnt have anxiety for two days, it was wonderful. It is a bit messy again now though, had a couple of really bad days. Will try to fix it tomorrow.
Pauls been talking about giving up, everything goes so slowly and I know the feeling, I feel the same. We cant give up though so we keep fighting, its hard to never be able to rest. When you are this sick you work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Its very tiering. Theres so many rules that you have to follow all the time, you have to think about everything so that you wont get more sick. Get up at the same time everyday for example, go to bed at the same time every night, eat well, get out and walk every day, not aloud to drink alcohol, money problem, all the papers that needs to be sent to different places because your crazy, not stress ( how is that possible). I just want to have one day that I can get up when ever I want and dont have to care about ANYTHING. I really need that. But its not possible.
I still havent heared anything from the doctor about what kind of help I am going to get, they have sent the bill from the hospital though, ofcourse.
I am very tired at the moment as you all can hear, really struggeling. Maybe i have something fun to say tomorrow? Lets hope...
Its been a while since I last wrote here. Havent had any energy for it.
Were having a hard time, after we got our appartment painted Paul was sick for days. To much change. He was just sleeping, unable to talk to me or James. I felt extremly lonley and depressed. Felt sick when I went to bed and felt sick when I woke up, I didnt want to wake up, felt like I couldnt handle the situation at all.
One day I was so tired of everything and so pissed of that I just went into a hyper mode and fixed the whole appartment. I didnt have anxiety for two days, it was wonderful. It is a bit messy again now though, had a couple of really bad days. Will try to fix it tomorrow.
Pauls been talking about giving up, everything goes so slowly and I know the feeling, I feel the same. We cant give up though so we keep fighting, its hard to never be able to rest. When you are this sick you work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Its very tiering. Theres so many rules that you have to follow all the time, you have to think about everything so that you wont get more sick. Get up at the same time everyday for example, go to bed at the same time every night, eat well, get out and walk every day, not aloud to drink alcohol, money problem, all the papers that needs to be sent to different places because your crazy, not stress ( how is that possible). I just want to have one day that I can get up when ever I want and dont have to care about ANYTHING. I really need that. But its not possible.
I still havent heared anything from the doctor about what kind of help I am going to get, they have sent the bill from the hospital though, ofcourse.
I am very tired at the moment as you all can hear, really struggeling. Maybe i have something fun to say tomorrow? Lets hope...
