Shit day...
Saw a movie last night, cant remember what it was called, but Helen Hunt was in it. She was adopted and met her bio mom and so on. The stupid movie made me realize how much I miss my mum. I was crying and I am still upset. I dont know if I will ever see my mum again, Ive told her that I dont want to see her before she quit drinking. She havent seen James yet. Thats how much he means to her. Nice... I must say though, that before my sister died and everything turned into shit, she did a wonderful job, my mum. She was the best mum a kid could have. Then she met the wrong man and choosed him and the bottle instead of us. I do understand, she wasnt strong enough, I dont know if i would be strong enough. I just wish that she knows that I love her, but I dont think that she does, think she thinks that I hate her because I dont want to see her as long as she drinks. It hurts so much to know that someone that you love so much is wasting away her life. I want to help her but I cant, I tried for ten years. Shes the only one that can take the step to a better future.
I hope that I will see you again some day, show you James and hug you, breath in your parfym and feel safe in your arms again, safe like only a mum can make you feel. I love you mum...
I hope that I will see you again some day, show you James and hug you, breath in your parfym and feel safe in your arms again, safe like only a mum can make you feel. I love you mum...
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