Wednesday...
Pauls depressed again, really bad. Thats how it is sometimes and might always be. But, its been a long time since last time he felt like this, which is very good, I mean, he used to feel like this always... I feel good today, have much energy, I do know why, my body went into superwoman mode last night when Paul told me that he felt like shit. I am trying to get out of it, I dont want to be in that mode, its not good for my body. My body needs to be in dead mode, which is what it really is and I need to learn how to handle stress so that I can get well again. Ive done all the dishes, changed the beddings, Ive done two important phone calls and Ive sorted out some paperwork. So its very clear that I am in Superwoman mode. Cant even handle dishes on a normal day...
Paul was very good this morning and went with James to Day Care even if he felt like he couldnt get out of bed, he will also do some washing later, as much as he have energy for, thats very important, hes not allowed to do more than that. Its not good to pressure yourself to much, but a little is good. You have to be honest to yourself and be proud of what you managed to do, or what you tried to do. You shouldnt try to be an hero, its not good for you or anyone near you. Do your best, its enough and responsible, smart and so on.
I talked with Pauls mom last night, she is the best support you could ever wish for. I hope she understands what a big differens she makes, how much her support means to me, how loved she makes me feel.
Paul was very good this morning and went with James to Day Care even if he felt like he couldnt get out of bed, he will also do some washing later, as much as he have energy for, thats very important, hes not allowed to do more than that. Its not good to pressure yourself to much, but a little is good. You have to be honest to yourself and be proud of what you managed to do, or what you tried to do. You shouldnt try to be an hero, its not good for you or anyone near you. Do your best, its enough and responsible, smart and so on.
I talked with Pauls mom last night, she is the best support you could ever wish for. I hope she understands what a big differens she makes, how much her support means to me, how loved she makes me feel.
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