Longing for spring
We got a bad cold again! Well, well, we will be ok soon!
I watched Greys Anatomy last night and the spin of, Off the map. Love them both! They are very girly I guess though :) What I like the most about Greys is that you always have something to think about after the program, a feeling of gratefullness for what you have and a big fear of what you might loose one day. My biggest fear in life is to loose Paul or James, I would be half for the rest of my life. But we live NOW, so lets focus on that.
I can see a wonderful blue sky outside my window from my sofa, Im longing for spring and summer so much. it feels like things might be easier by then? Maybe I feel like that way because I feel lonley? In the summer you are more likely to meet people and friends. It feels like Ive lost so many friends the last cople of years. Even my best friends doesnt call me anymore. Im not feeling sorry for myself, but I keep on wondering why? Why people dont want to hang out anymore? I have been very busy, I know that. Its been a hard time, still is and it havent been much room for friends, or energy for that matter. Its not easy to have a kid and not being able to leave him with his father so that you can go out with a friend etc. We dont have any family either that can help. Maybe people think that I dont think that they are important to me? That I dont care anymore? But, I do invite people, for dinners, poker nights, coffee. I dont know, maybe they think that Ive taken the wrong way, deciding to spend my life with the man I love who happens to be very ill? I can understand, my friends been through a lot with me and they all have a choice, either stay and support or walk away, I always told them that and that i wont have any hard feelings against them. We are just humans after all, its just sad that so many choose to take the easy way.
I watched Greys Anatomy last night and the spin of, Off the map. Love them both! They are very girly I guess though :) What I like the most about Greys is that you always have something to think about after the program, a feeling of gratefullness for what you have and a big fear of what you might loose one day. My biggest fear in life is to loose Paul or James, I would be half for the rest of my life. But we live NOW, so lets focus on that.
I can see a wonderful blue sky outside my window from my sofa, Im longing for spring and summer so much. it feels like things might be easier by then? Maybe I feel like that way because I feel lonley? In the summer you are more likely to meet people and friends. It feels like Ive lost so many friends the last cople of years. Even my best friends doesnt call me anymore. Im not feeling sorry for myself, but I keep on wondering why? Why people dont want to hang out anymore? I have been very busy, I know that. Its been a hard time, still is and it havent been much room for friends, or energy for that matter. Its not easy to have a kid and not being able to leave him with his father so that you can go out with a friend etc. We dont have any family either that can help. Maybe people think that I dont think that they are important to me? That I dont care anymore? But, I do invite people, for dinners, poker nights, coffee. I dont know, maybe they think that Ive taken the wrong way, deciding to spend my life with the man I love who happens to be very ill? I can understand, my friends been through a lot with me and they all have a choice, either stay and support or walk away, I always told them that and that i wont have any hard feelings against them. We are just humans after all, its just sad that so many choose to take the easy way.
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