Practice what you preach!
I am back from my breakdown now. Yes I had a proper breakdown, crying, anxiety all day and night, just wanted to sleep or disapear from everything, I was also scared, very scared, I have never felt like I did before and I know that I have to do something about it now. The crash really crushed me and my normally so well functioning brain, no I dont mean that I am unusually smart or anything like that, but usually I am an expert when it comes to think the right thoughts, thoughts that helps me to feel good. Diana Fabian thought me how to do that when I had my first breakdown, the knowledge that she gave me thoose five times I went to her is what I have been using to get Paul better. You just have to think right, its that simple. A week ago I wasnt thinking at all, bad things was spinning inside of my head and I couldnt see any of the good things in my life, I just saw what I dont have.
One evening Paul told me that he couldnt be around me anymore, it felt like a slap in my face... I woke up again. My friend Mariana also told me to do something, to practice what I preach. So thats what I am doing now. I am very grateful for what Paul and Mariana did. Thank you!!
The first day was hard, I had some anxiety but could control it and we had a nice day. The second day the anxiety was gone... Yesterday I felt so happy! Today aswell.
Many things has happened since I wrote the last time, I will tell you about it tomorrow!
I want you all to know that I do know that my english writing is worse than ever right now. I am very tired and I am traumatised, hopefully it will get better soon. Hopefully you all do understand what I am writing anyway...
Have a wonderful sunday!!
One evening Paul told me that he couldnt be around me anymore, it felt like a slap in my face... I woke up again. My friend Mariana also told me to do something, to practice what I preach. So thats what I am doing now. I am very grateful for what Paul and Mariana did. Thank you!!
The first day was hard, I had some anxiety but could control it and we had a nice day. The second day the anxiety was gone... Yesterday I felt so happy! Today aswell.
Many things has happened since I wrote the last time, I will tell you about it tomorrow!
I want you all to know that I do know that my english writing is worse than ever right now. I am very tired and I am traumatised, hopefully it will get better soon. Hopefully you all do understand what I am writing anyway...
Have a wonderful sunday!!
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