monkeytrouble

Trying my best...

I never, ever felt like this before, this depressed. I dont want to get out off bed in the morning, I dont want to put clothes on, nothing, just want to cry all day. I hate myself at the moment, my looks, my clothes, my stupid thoughts, everything. I am a needy cow at the moment! I am doing my best though, as always and Paul is very supportive, hes an expert in how to live with deppression after all. He gives me extra attention and tells me how good I am. I am lucky to have him, hes the best!

We went to the food shop earlier, think I spent an hour to get ready before we went and I still just wanted to womit when I saw myself in the mirror, my head is crowded with bad and evil thoughts. After we had been in the shop paul bought me lunch, it was nice, had a little lasagna and som lemonade.

Paul is picking James up from day care now and when hes home we will give James dinner and then James and I am going to go out with our neighbor and her daughter, I dont really want to do anything, but I have to force myself, otherwise I will get worse. Pauls going to stay home and rest and tonight were going to watch Star Trek all night until we fall asleep.

Heres some pictures of James from last summer



















Hes so beautiful

Hej Lisa!



Vilka underbara bilder på James ifrån förra sommaren.. =)



Du verkar ha det väldigt tungt nu, du ska veta att jag känner med dig.. Vet inte vad jag ska göra.. Ni får jättegärna komma hit någon dag om ni vill.. Hade varit kul att ses.

Du är superduktig som tar dig ut och hittar på saker fast allt är så tungt, tror det är bra..



Men du/ni är välkomna hit när ni vill, om det är fint väder kan vi ju alltid grilla eller bara slappa i solen och dricka en kopp te.. =)



Kramar challe!